Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Sibling Bond Development

I have written a couple of posts about the mommy guilt that comes with having a second (or beyond) child. They are Mommy Guilt - Having a Second Child, and Dealing With Second Child Guilt - Revisited if you aren't familiar. In the second post, I went on about how the gift of a sibling far overshadows any loss of attention that a first born might have to deal with. I used my own sibling relationships to make my point.

Well, it has been a mere month and a half since that last post and I just had to share how much more evident that point is becoming in our lives lately.

When Baby Boo was born, Little Dude was immediately not too impressed with her. Then again, he was brought into the weird environment that is a hospital, and shown a crying tiny person. . . Could we really blame him for being less than enthused about the whole situation?
Little Dude meeting his baby sister for the 1st time - He was NOT happy.
Please pardon my super swollen face, I was on a lot of IV fluids.

Daddy trying to coax him to give his sister a hig or kiss.

He finally agreed to touch her.

Then he finally gave her a kiss. . . after A LOT of coaxing.

 Once we went home, he started to understand that the baby was sticking around. He was just 17 months old, but he was already a great big brother. Being a great big brother meant helping momma by grabbing her things like blankets and pacifiers while the baby nursed or slept. Beyond that, there wasn't much to the whole big brother thing beyond the occasional hug or kiss goodnight for his sister.

As Baby Boo started growing and becoming aware of her world, the dynamic between the 2 started developing. Baby Boo has been a strong willed little tyrant from about 3 or 4 months. If she has her mind set on something, she doesn't quit until she gets her way. Little Dude is so easy going that he often gives in to his sister. I find myself telling Baby Boo "no" for bad behavior much more than I do her bif brother. Sometimes I wonder which one is truly the 2 year old.

Despite her tyrannical ways, Baby Boo clearly adores her big brother. He is her inspiration to hit many of her milestones because she wants so desperately to keep up with him. If Little Dude is interested in something, she automatically is interested too.  This clearly frustrates him sometimes since he does love his independent play still. I make sure to allow him enough time to himself every day and they really don't butt heads very often.

Little Dude has always been very thoughtful of his sister. He frequently brings her toys when she can't access them herself. The other day we went to the doctor's office. Little Dude saw that his sister couldn't quite reach the toys on the shelf, so he grabbed a few things down and handed them to her and said "Baby Boo no bored." I think that kind of consideration is impressive coming from a 2 year old. He also worries about her. At Baby Boo's 9 month well baby checkup, the doctor was checking over her, and Little Dude became very worried. He proceeded to yell at the doctor several times "no pokies Baby Boo!" He was worried that she was going to get a shot. Luckily there were no vaccinations scheduled for that visit so I was able to assure him that his sister was not going to get hurt. Now I'm not sure whether to bring him to her 1 year checkup.

In the last month or so, a new dynamic has developed that is so exciting to see. They are starting to play together. I'm talking games of hide and seek, poke wars (the non-Facebook kind), toy cars, chase, etc. Now, it isn't uncommon for the both of them to disappear into one of their bedrooms and not come out for an hour. All I hear is a ton of giggling in there. Little Dude will get down in his hands and knees, tell Baby Boo, "play chase," and he will take off. Baby Boo will get a huge grin on her face and then take right off after him laughing her head off the whole time. I swear there is very little that rivals this in terms of sweet, heartwarming moments for this momma. My kids love each other, and really enjoy being together. It really brings back memories of my own childhood. There is nothing better than having a live-in playmate every single day. It is so worth all the drama that may come in tow.

I'm almost done with my sappy rambling I swear. First I have to share a photo taken just yesterday of my kids:
My babies cuddling on the couch *just because*.
Seriously, that is enough to completely obliterate any qualms I may ever have about having additional kids.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I'd love to hear from you!